A Story of Conscious Uncoupling
The beginning of this story isn't the heartbreak, or the honeymoon, or even the aftermath of the sexual escapades that always seemed to become pure panic. This story begins in Montego Bay, Jamaica, where a boy learns to perform to survive. Until his performance becomes his identity and that identity becomes a prison, trapping him in a marriage that wasn't meant to be.
What unfolds across these pages is not a guide to getting over the end of a relationship. It's one man's retelling of the coming apart and the putting back together. From ayahuasca ceremonies in jungle sweat lodges to nights spent prowling hookup apps, from barstools to breakdowns during naked yoga, he maps the clumsy beginning of his second life—and the strange cast of characters who help him shape it.
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A Dark Psychological Thriller
In the shadow of Jamaica's colonial past, where ancestral estates whisper of old money and even older sins, Jonathan Blake watches his inheritance slip away.
A skilled nurse by day, Jonathan masks a mind haunted since his mother's tragic overdose—a death he blames on his father's cruelty. When Richard Blake disinherits his only son, the betrayal cuts deep. But when his father announces plans to transform their ancestral great house into a tacky all-inclusive resort—with the help of his young interior designer girlfriend, Anna Sutton—Jonathan's grief transforms into something far more dangerous: a meticulously plotted revenge.
When his family's library of colonial-era law books gives Jonathan the answer to his problems, and armed with his medical expertise, he sets in motion a year-long countdown.
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I didn't only write journal entries during my separation and divorce—I wrote full songs, I wrote poems and turned them into verses.
With the help of some very patient audio engineers, AI and a generous sprinkling of autotune, I took those verses and put them to music, and I sang. I sang and I learned and I made mistakes, and while not perfect, it's an expression of my feelings and this book in another form.
The bloopers—they're mostly gasps, sighs and sobbing as my voice cracks because this was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Please enjoy this expression of emotion in music form.
This was the first song that came out of me during the divorce. I was trying to make sense of why we were tearing apart something that didn't feel broken—just wrong-shaped, maybe? Neither of us wanted to lose each other completely, but we both knew we couldn't stay married. We were figuring out how to keep all the good stuff, all the reasons we fell for each other in the first place, while letting go of this thing that was suffocating us both.
I was scrolling through Instagram and came across a post that absolutely struck me—like being hit sideways, and I guess that's what happened to the guy who originally posted it. I took his words and reimagined them somewhat, then spent about 24 hours straight writing and reworking the music, trying to sing and understand a genre I was completely unfamiliar with. But it had to sound like this. I was crazed, and this is the result.
This started as a poem to my dog Amber, then evolved. It is actually the first time I played around with harmonies, I sang it only once but digitally created the harmonics and while it isn't perfect it's pretty cool. I contemplated not including it because it makes me happy cry. But things are great, and we will always have the memories, and we will always have Costa Rica. This song is a cheeky nod to aging gracefully and has a hidden message only my ex husband will understand :)
This was inspired by women who are badass and go through divorce, raise kids, keep their heads up, but still long for their man. It's for the late-night booty callers, the ones who don't delete his number from their phone, the strong, confident, independent ones who still want someone to rub their back and tell them they're doing a good job. It was actually written originally to be an Evanescence-Nicki Minaj mashup and turned into this jam-rock track.
Because this song just needed more sadness.
Mathew Moslow writes from the intersection of healing and honesty—where the messy work of becoming human meets the courage to examine what we'd rather leave unexamined.
MONTEGO BAY
A psychiatric nurse in training and a seeker by nature, Mathew's journey from the beaches of Jamaica to the therapy rooms of Florida reads like a masterclass in intentional transformation. Growing up gay in Montego Bay taught him early that survival sometimes means performing, but his work now centers on the radical act of showing up authentically—especially when it's uncomfortable.
DIVORCE & TRANSFORMATION
His approach to life's most difficult moments is refreshingly unconventional. When his marriage to Aaron began to unravel, rather than following the traditional script of bitter divorce proceedings, they chose what Mathew calls a "pressure cooker" method—confronting pain head-on, with therapeutic support, to transform heartbreak into something resembling wisdom. The result wasn't just the preservation of their friendship, but a blueprint for how love can evolve when we stop trying to control its form.
MEMOIR
Mathew's memoir, A Novel Divorce, chronicles this journey with the precision of someone trained to observe human behavior and the vulnerability of someone willing to dissect his own. He writes about psilocybin ceremonies in Costa Rican jungles with the same unflinching honesty he brings to examining his failures as a partner, his struggles with anxiety, and his gradual learning to love without the armor of performance.
THRILLER IN PROGRESS
Currently working on his second book, "Beyond The Reach Of Justice"—a thriller about a disinherited nurse who turns to crime—Mathew demonstrates the range that comes from someone unafraid to explore the darker corners of human motivation, whether in fiction or his own life.
PSYCHOLOGY & HEALING
His academic interests in developmental and behavioral psychology and alternative therapeutic modalities aren't abstract pursuits but lived experiments in understanding how people change, heal, and grow. He's as likely to reference Brené Brown's research on vulnerability as he is to describe the practical effects of ayahuasca on trauma processing, approaching both with the curiosity of someone for whom transformation is a daily practice.
PRESENT DAY • FLORIDA
These days, Mathew lives in Florida with his dog Amber—his "easy answer" to what brings him joy—and continues the work of showing up fully for his life. His writing, whether memoir or fiction, carries the hard-won wisdom of someone who learned that the stories we tell ourselves can either trap us or set us free, and that sometimes the most radical thing we can do is tell the truth about who we've been in service of who we're becoming.
Every story begins with a moment of recognition—that split second when you realize your life has become something worth examining. For me, it wasn't dramatic. I was sitting in my kitchen, coffee growing cold, when I understood that the performance I'd been giving for years wasn't sustainable anymore.
Writing became my laboratory. Each morning, I'd sit with my laptop and excavate another layer of truth. Some days, the words flowed like confession. Others, I had to drag them out, bloody and reluctant. But slowly, the story of who I really was began to emerge from beneath decades of careful construction.
What you don't see in the final pages are the 3 AM rewrites, the chapters I deleted because they were too raw, too honest, too real. You don't see the conversations with friends who helped me understand that vulnerability isn't weakness—it's the most courageous thing we can offer each other.
Music became another language for things I couldn't quite capture in prose. Late nights in makeshift studios, learning to sing my own pain, discovering that auto-tune can't fix a broken heart but it can help you find your voice anyway. Each song became a chapter I couldn't write any other way.
Have thoughts on the books? Questions about the journey? I'd love to hear from you.